The Secret Stash

"What the fuck, Lunchbox? Why the fuck can't I go to your little fag class?"

Bob gave him a Look, and then mimed being clapped in handcuffs.

Jay wilted a bit. "Oh yeah. Fucking pig. C'moooon, I'm gonna be good! I won't even, like, touch or anything."

Bob sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before shaking his head and going back to working on his lesson plans.

Silent Bob probably had an office. He was, after all, a teacher now.

Silent Bob, however, wasn't really an office-type of guy. He did have a rather battered-looking notebook with him as he leaned against the wall of the Kwik Stop and was studiously making notes on his lesson plans while Jay harassed female passersby.

[[Bob will have "office hours" every Tuesday (if I remember - sometimes I suck and don't) in front of the Kwik Stop. If you need him for something specifical, drop me a line at fandomcoddler at gmail or on AIM at nickilty and I can post to that effect.]]

Wow, look, people. Good God, woman, what have you been doing with yourself? Not playing all of your boys, that's for damn sure.

Hello, everyone, and welcome! Or something. I am Denise, your friendly neighbourhood Jude/Jim and also the neglectful mun of Jay and Silent Bob! I realize I haven't posted them since the new crop of characters came around, which is a shame. So here's a swifty-quick infodump and invitation to play:

This is Jay. Jay is loud, foul-mouthed, and perpetually horny. If you are female, he will sexually harass you. If you are male, he may also sexually harass you. If you are neither (or clearly jailbait in a way even he feels uncomfortable with), he will just be rude and profane.

This is Silent Bob. Silent Bob doesn't say much except to make very appropriate pop culture references. Unfortunately, he will not stop Jay from sexually harassing you. He may even encourage it.

For Jay and Silent Bob, the events of every View Askew movie have occurred. Including 'Dogma', because I'm cruel to myself like that, and the Clerks cartoon. So yes! There is even a Bluntman and Chronic movie that anyone can watch IG. I can't really say much other than that they loiter outside the Kwik Stop and peddle weed in large quantities, in between the occasional beatdown of Gentlemen or trolls. I try to keep posts clean (as much as possible), but all J&SB threads bear a 'WARNING: PROFANITY' label on them automatically.

I inherited the boys from another player, and she instituted something that I will continue: Jay and Silent Bob can be modded to the effect that the following is always true and can always be referred to in other posts without having to be cleared by me:
1. Jay and Silent Bob were outside the Kwik Stop.
2. Jay and Silent Bob will sell you drugs.
3. Jay and Silent Bob will sexually harass you.

For example, if Rikku felt the need for ingredients for special brownies, without talking to me she could say that she had to endure the leering and clumsy pick-up lines before getting her product. Rikku in this example totally modded without permission. That's . . . basically all I have. If you've never seen a View Askew movie and have no idea who these two jokers are, you have led a sadly deprived life and need to get yourself to the nearest Blockbuster post-haste. I recommend 'Mallrats' but feel free to skip 'Chasing Amy'.

Sorry for dropping three-minute date tags and just about everything else yesterday, I'm battling a cold. So really shouldn't even be at my computer at the moment, but we all know how it is. Back to bed and more drugs for me.

New people in town. New customers. Jay was ecstatic, Silent Bob slightly less so. He was missing Ivanova a bit. Every once in a while Jay would smack him in the arm. "Cheer up, tubby."

Silent Bob gave him mopey puppydog eyes.

Jay shrugged and went back to dancing, Morris Day and the Time blaring out of their tinny little boombox.

So, um, hi, hello, good evening! My name is Rostand, and I'll be your Jay and Silent Bob-mun for this evening. Well, hopefully longer than that. I also play Ivanova, Camulus, and the Baron and yes, I believe this will drive me slowly insane. So just a few notes. I'll try and get the boys out and about more. I'm formulating a big 'all about the mun and her availability' post, so that information'll be out soon.

For now, I'd just like to say that I'm going with the former mun and saying feel free to NPC Jay and Silent Bob into any scene you choose, within reason. I heart my boys and I don't want them damaged.

Permanently, anyways.

If any of your characters has something going on with either of the boys I should know about, drop me a line here or at fandomcoddler at gmail dot com.

Ivanova as Wonder Woman - HOT
Tick as crazy journalism guy [[because J&SB know EVERYONE]] - Cool. Are judges eli elegable in the contest?
Shane & Girlfriend - Creative. Also hot. Glad Jay was elsewhere. Would also like a threesome with them. Them meaning Shane and girlfriend, not Jay and anyone.
Faith as cheerleader - Like her the costume. Cute, nice, brunette... you think if she won she'd sleep with me? And when did I start thinking like Jay?
CJ - Okay, teacher in a sexy school girl uniform? Yay.
Chaucer - The guy is cool, and he's dressed as Shaft. WINNER.
Dean Bristow as The Tick - Isn't one of them enough? But props for being able to talk like that nutjob guy. I just hope he doesn't get all justice crazy and search me or Jay.

If there is a specific place at the Halloween party that you would like Jay and/or Bob to be, please ping me at Girl Friday 84 (IM) or send me an email at marieannd AT gmail DOT com. 'Cause I'm running on no sleep and might miss it.

Also, George-mun? Anytime you wanna fuck with Jay, just ping me, and I'll tear him away from whatever sexy bitch he's hitting on at the time.

ETA: I will be trying very, very hard to post with the correct icon: i.e. if you're just talking to Bob, it'll be the Bob-only icon. So, if anyone wants to jump in, the icon should give you a clue as to who's there.

I have absolutely no problem with anyone NPCing Jay and Bob. If you want them there (and I'm not activly playing them somewhere else) you can have one or both show up anywhere in town, and be background, sell you something, whatever. Just a couple requests: don't piss anyone off too badly with Jay; Bob can only do so much damage control without words. Don't have them doing/selling anything harder than weed, because unless a plot specifically calls for it, AND its cleared with the admin, I'm not touching that shit with a 10-foot-pole. Don't do anything terribly OOC; yes, Bob has talked in the game, but only to a few people (Sara Sidle, and Faith come to mind) and usually only when he thinks he might get some. And Jay's a loudmouth jerk with a one track mind. Yeah, Dogma showed him to have a sort-of good side, and the whole J&SBSB Justice thing seemed cute, but he's still and ass who's main goal in life is to make fun of Bob and get laid. He's not gonna fall in love with anyone, male or female even though he totally loves the cock.

When you're done, please leave me a link so I know what happened.

*There is a long silence, witha little rustling. Then, obviously in the background:* Hey tons o' fun! The fuck are you doing?

*click*

Translation: You've reached Bob's *private* voicemail. He probably won't answer, but will find you in person.

I love Silent Bob.

I also love Cally and Ash more.

I cannot continue to punish myself and others by running so many characters.

I'm screening comments, so if you want to adopt the big lug, comment with an applicable e-mail address for me to change the account to, and the poor sucker is yours.

Dear Journal,

Cops stole our fucking pot.
Jay and I convinced some guy from the clinic to give us a fucking medicinal marijuana license. How fucking cool is that?

And Jay still doesn't know what the fuck the internet is.

immorrisday showed up.

That's probably good for business.

I think Jay'll never find this journal, since he still doesn't know what the fuck the internet is.

Yeah. Stop by the Kwik Stop for your herbal remedy fix. And we might still have some fireworks.

Moved. Somehow lost Jay.

Business is reopened in front of the new Kwik Stop near fandomhigh.

And I think dantesdayoff isn't real happy to see me.